From Traumatic Childhood Abuse to Living a Fulfilling Life
My Story of Hope & Inspiration by Tim Markison
I was raped from age 5 through age 13 by both a family member and a school administrator. I was also beaten. I was choked. I was locked in a freezer. I was consistently berated. I was told I was worthless. And that was on a “good day.”
My defense mechanisms were to disassociate and to forget. While an incident was occurring, I disassociated and, as soon as it ended, I blocked it out. I forgot the incident along with most of my childhood.
The only positive experience I had as a child was baseball, however, my father did everything he could to taint that. I was the best player for my age. I was very good. I could go three for four and throw a one-hitter in a game and it wasn’t good enough for my father. No matter how much I excelled in baseball, it was never good enough for him. He constantly degraded me. Win or lose, I never won in his eyes.
Baseball, however, continued to be my dream. It kept my spirit alive. Baseball got me to college.
When I started college, I was afraid of, and felt inferior to, pretty much everyone; I suffered regular panic attacks; I was always anxious; and I believed I was a worthless, stupid, ugly, unlovable piece of shit that couldn’t do anything right. I believed every lie I had been told by those abusing me. Common traits for victims of child sexual abuse.
When my eldest daughter Amy turned five, I started having flashbacks of my childhood. The re-experiencing of the emotions, the fear, the emptiness, and the body pain was overwhelming. For me, it was necessary to re-experience parts of my childhood so I could put my issues into perspective and create a new self-image.
I have come to know that I am a smart, lovable, valuable and a worthwhile person. I also know that I can do a lot of things extremely well and I have accomplished a great deal of inspiring accomplishments and worthy successes in my life. Even so, until a few years ago, I had no intentions of sharing my story.
After 20 years without a flashback, I started having them again. These flashbacks shifted something in me. I had to break the silence. I have to share my story, to be a vocal advocate for child abuse prevention, and to be a vocal advocate for victims to heal their wounds and create a positive self-image.
Part of sharing my story is to share my successes; something I’m not comfortable doing. Yet, I do so because it is important to me to be an integrity leader who walks his talk. To show what is possible for victims of child sexual abuse and to encourage other victims to heal their wounds, create a positive self-image, and to live a great and fulfilling life.
Here’s are a few of my proudest accomplished to date:
On the personal side:
I married my high school sweetheart and we are still married 41 years later.
We have a beautiful family; two daughters, one son-in-law, one granddaughter, and many outstanding friends.
One of our daughters works with me in our patent law firm, which is incredibly rewarding for me.
Our other daughter works with my wife in her medical practice.
I like the person I see in the mirror (this is a biggie for me because I use to hate looking at myself).
I’ve created an optimistic attitude that my best days are still ahead of me. As such, I have a lot to live for.
My family and I have traveled around the world.
We live in an abundant house and drive nice cars, which has been a nice change from my childhood where we were poor, we lived in a modest home, and we had old and unreliable cars.
I’m in good health
On the professional side:
I graduated college with an electrical engineering degree while working full-time as a draftsmen and technician through most of it.
I graduated law school while working full-time as a patent agent and raising a family.
I have a successful patent law practice and I am proud to be one of the top Patent Attorneys in the United States.
I’m one of very few, if not the only person, in the country to be an inventor on more than 325 issued patents and to have drafted more than 3,000 patents.
I’ve developed a patent business methodology that changes how companies approach patents.
I’m founder, CEO, and primary inventor of Athalonz, which makes superior golf shoes that are disrupting the golf industry due to its patented technology.